Thursday, August 15, 2013

Random rant

So here I am in the bed. It's just past 12:30 and I am wide awake. I'm up thinking about how good God is. Even with the challenges of life I consider myself extremely blessed. Got the new book in the mail today(MAY the Best Man Win) and catapulted my catatonic state of mind to excitement. I opened the book flipped through the pages, laughed at the wild things that I wrote. I felt it like it was a long lost lover....Lol
Seeing the progress of an effort in its entirety is overwhelming. My heart raced as I opened the box and peeked in. For some reason I didn't think it would happen.
Many people don't know that I struggle with confidence and depression in some areas of my life. I am happy, but get easily discouraged and distracted. My mind races all of the time. My state mind can shift in an instant. If I read something on a social site that I don't like or agree with it sends me down a path of overwhelming mental shifting. I am not crazy...Lol just a thinker. I think too much, too long and too hard.
Inadequacies about myself consume me at times.  I'm sure most go through similar things, but it takes away from my productivity.
Then I get depressed about that and ponder on my  self hindrances. Ugh.
I really wonder how I made it through writing my publication. I know it was God that did it. I just simply marvel.
About to turn in now. Peace.